viel spaß im ausland

24 February 2008

This is the green card that they give foreigners when they land in the Great US of A:

Do you have a communicable disease; physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict ? (Well that eliminates half the planet right there)

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; ... or are you seeking entry go engage in criminal or immoral activities ? (yes or no. please answer truthfully) I am a born English speaker. I have no idea what moral turpitude means but I'm guessing its one of those Southern Thangs. Why do you expect foreigners to understand that ? Just check no.

Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide (currently ? which color please ?); or between 1933 and 1945 were involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi German or its allies ? (thank God you are asking the tough questions and keeping this country safe. if only the perpetrators of 911 had had the balls to check yes. Tall buildings, government installations, aircraft, symbols of power ? please check as many as apply.)

Are you seeking to work in the U.S.; or have ever been excluded or deported (oh I'm sorry, are your computers down right now ?); or been previously removed from the United States ... etc.


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Backwardation : Version 12"
Time dilated by matter : Version 12"